Showing posts with label Self-Improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Improvement. Show all posts

Sunday, 16 November 2025

Movie Night

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It's 8:00pm so it's time to take my evening vitamin suplements of Melatonin (to promote sleepiness), Magnesium (for relaxation), and Vitamin D. Since I've stopped drinking a few days ago, falling asleep has become a huge challenge without the aid of alcohol. Then it's time to make some popcorn and sit down to watch a movie on Netflix.
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I've done the dishes and the house is tidy. I want to make a point of having the house in order at all times, as a clean living environment aids in having a clean working mind. 
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Dimming the lights is not only for watching the movie but also for further Melatonin production, as the dimming light signals to the brain that it is soon time to prepare for sleep, just as the setting of the sun does to the body naturally. (The rising sun, and that light you can detect through your closed eyelids, signals to the body to produce Seratonin, which is the chemical to make you wake up). 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I've rolled up a joint for after the movie is finished, as well as having some hot chocolate & cookies ready to make before bed. I've smoked weed for decades (I'm 55) and it has never been a problem for me - unless I'm really drunk and smoke up, then it sends me into a dizzying crash. Usually I smoke only a half a joint per day, right before bed, although on crappy rainy or snowy days off work I could be talked into smoking one and couch surfing the day away. As it sits, I'm going for "California Sober" for the time being. I struggle with falling asleep so much, a half a joint before bed seems a much better choice than sleeping pills - or a 6 pack of strong beer (8%) which is my usual fare. 
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Bed-time! It's about 11:00pm now and hopefully I've made myself sufficiently drowsy to fall asleep. I'm only a few days in and my body has not adjusted to sleeping without alcohol. In fact, I've only been able to get between zero and three hours sleep since I began a few days ago. It will improve. It's just a phase my body is going through until my natural circadium rythym reasserts itself. This is one of those "triggers" that keeps one dependent on alcohol. 
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For a while now I've been paying attention to my sleeping environment. I keep my bedroom rather cool and I love it this way. It makes my nice warm bed a special, comforting retreat. I bought a set of high quality sheets a while back for $160 and let me tell you, it really makes a difference! Also, I make sure to have all the lights out so as not to inhibit REM sleep while turning on my TV to a YouTube channel which provides 10 to 12 hours of the sounds of heavy rain and thunder with a blacked out screen. My favourite channel is called the "sleeprelaxchannel". Not only do these sounds help me drift off to sleep but they have the added benefit of drowning out the snoring of my fat-ass neighbour through the thin walls of this 1980's apartment building. Without the TV on this way, I get so mad listening to Piggy Grunty McSnort sleeping while I cannot, that I fantasize punching a hole through the wall and strangling him with my bare hands. Thus, there are multiple benefits to playing the sounds of a thunderstorm while I'm sleeping.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Monday, 1 September 2014

The Scroll Marked IV - (I am Nature's Greatest Miracle)

I am nature's greatest miracle.

Since the beginning of time never has there been another with my mind, my heart, my eyes, my ears, my hands, my hair, my mouth. Non that came before, not that live today, and none that come tomorrow can walk and talk and move and think exactly like me. All me are my brothers yet I am different from each. I am a unique creature.

Although I am of the animal kingdom, animal rewards alone will not satisfy me. Within me burns a flame which has been passed from generations uncounted and its heat is a constant irritation to my spirit to become better than I am, and I will. I will fan this flame of dissatisfaction and proclaim my uniqueness to the world.

Non can duplicate my bruch strokes, none can make my chisel marks, non can duplicate my handwriting, non can produce my child, and in truth, non has the ability to seel exactly as I. Henceforth, I will capitalize on this difference for it is an asset to be promoted to the fullest.

I am nature's greatest miracle.

Vain attempts to imitate others no longer will I make. Instead will I place my uniqueness on display in the market-place. I will proclaim it, yea, I will sell it. I will begin now to accent my differences; hid my similarities. So too will I apply this principle to the goods I sell. Salesman and goods, different from all others, and proud of the differences.

I am a unique creature of nature.

I am rare, and there is value in all rarity; therefore, I am valuable. I am the end product of thousands of years of evolution; therefore, I am better equipped in both mind and body than all the emperors and wise men who preceded me.

But my skills, my mind, my heart, and my body will stagnate, rot and die lest I put them to good use. I have unlimitted potential. Only a small protion of my brain do I employ; only a paltry amount of my muscles do I flex.  A hundredfold or more can I increase my accomplishments of yesterday and this I will do, beginning today.

Nevermore will I be satisfied with yesterday's accomplishments nor will I indulge, anymore, in self-praise for deeds which in reality are too small to even acknowledge. I can accomplish far more than I have, and I will, for why should the miracle which produced me end with my birth? Why can I not extend that miracle to my deeds of today?

I am nature's greatest miracle.

I am not on this earth by chance. I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.

I will increase my knowledge of mankind, myself, and the goods I sell, thus my sales mill multiply. I will practice, and improve, and polish the words I utter to sell my goods, for this is the foundation on which I will build my career and success with only sales talk, deliverd with excellence. Also will I seek constantly to improve my manners and graces, for they are the sugar to which all are attached.

I am nature's greatest miracle.

I will concetrate my energy on the challenge of the moment and my action will help me forget all else. The problames of my home will be left in my home. I will think naught of my family when I am in the market place for this will clould my thoughts. So too will the problems of the market place be left in the market place and I will think naught of my profession when I am in my home for this will dampen my love.

There is no room in the market place for family, nor is there room my home for the market. Each I will divorce from the other and, thus will I remain wedded to both. Separate must they remain or my career will dies. This is a paradox of the ages.

I am nature's greatest miracle.

I have been given eyes to see and a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that ll my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise. I will no longer be fooled by the garment they wear for my eyes are open. I will look beyond the the cloth and I will not be deceived.

I am nature's greatest miracle.

No beast, not plant, no wind. no rain, no rock, no lake had the same beginning as I, for I was conceived in love and brought forth with a purpose. I the past I have not considered this fact but it will henceforth shape and guide my life.

I am nature's greatest miracle.

And nature knows not defeat. Eventually, she emerges victorious and so will I, and with each victory the next struggle becomes less difficult.

I will win, and I will become a great salesman, for I am unique.

I am nature's greatest miracle. 

Friday, 1 August 2014

The Scroll Marked III (I Will Persist Until I Succeed)

I will persist until I succeed.

In the Orient young bulls are tested for the fight arena in a certain manner. Each is brought to the ring and allowed to attack a picador who pricks him with a lance. The bravery of each bull is then rated with care according to the number of times ge demonstrates his willingness to charge in spite of the the sting of the blade. Henceforth will I recognize that each day I am tested by life in like manner. If I persist, if I continue to charge forward, I will succeed.

I will persist until I succeed.

I was not delivered unto this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep. I will hear not those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.

I will persist until I succeed.

The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning: and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. Never will I know how close it lies unless I turn the corner.

Always willl I take another step. I f that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult.

I will persist until I succeed.

Henceforth, I will consider each day's effort as but one blow of my blade against a mighty oak. The first blow may cause not a tremor in the wood, nor the second, nor the third. Each blow, of itself, may be trifling, and seem of no consequence. Yet from childish swipes the oak will eventually tumble. So it will be with my efforts of today.

I will be liken to the rain drop which washes away the mountain; the ant who devours the tiger; the star which brightens the earth; the slave who builds a pyramid. I will build my castle one brick at a time for I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.

I will persist until I succeed.

I will never consider defeat and I will remove from my vocabulary such words and phrases as quit, cannot, unable, impossible, out of the question, improbable, failure, un-workable, hopeless, and retreat; for they are the words of fools. I will avoid despair but if this disease of the mind should infect me then I will work on in despair. I will toil and I will endure. I will ignore the obstacles at my feet and keep mine eyes on the goals above my head, for I know that where dry desert ends, green grass grows.

I will persist until I succeed.

I will remember the ancient law of averages and I will bend it to my good. I will persist with knowledge that each failure to sell will increase my chance for succees at the next attempt. Each nay I hear will bring me closer to the sound of yes. Each frown I meet only prepares me for the smile to come. Each misfortune I encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck. I must have the night to appreciate the day. I must fail often to succeed only once.

I will persist until I succeed.

I will try, and try and try again. Each obstacle I will consider as a mere detour to my ultimate goal and a challenge to my profession. I will persist and develop my skill as the mariner develops his, by learning to ride out the wrath of each storm.

I will persist until I succeed.

Henceforth I will learn and apply another secret of those who excel in my work. When each day is ended, not regarding whether it has been a success or a failure, I will attempt to achieve one more sale. When my thoughts beckon my tired body homeward I will resist the temptation to depart. I will try again. I will make one more attempt to close with victory, and if that fails I will make another. Never will I allow any day to end in failure. Thus will I plant the seed of tomorrow's success and gain an insurmountable advantae over those who cease their labor at a prescribed time. When others cease their struggle, then mine will begin, and my harvest will be full.

I will persist until I succeed.

Nor will I allow yesterday's success to lull me into todays's complaceny, for this is the great foundation of failure. I will forget the happiness of the day that is gone, whether they were good or bad, and greet the new sun with confidence that this will be the best day of my life.

So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist. For now I know one of the greatest principles of success; if I persist long enough I will win.

I will persist.

I will win. 

Monday, 30 June 2014

The Scroll Marked II - (I Will Greet This Day With Love in My Heart)

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I will greet this day with love in my heart.

For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men and until I master this art I will remain no more than a peddler in the market place. I will make love my greatest weapon and none on whom I call can defend against its force.

My reasoning they may counter; my speech they may distrust; my apparel they may dissapprove; my face they may reject; and even my bargains may cause them suspicion; yet my love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest clay.

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

And how will I speak? I will laud my enemies and they will become friends; I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers. Always will I dig for reasons to applaud; never will I scratch for excuses to gossip. When I am tempted to criticize I will bite my tongue; when I am moved to praise I will shout from the roofs.

Is it not so that birds, the wind, the sea and all nature speaks with the music of praise for their creator? Cannot I speak with the same music to his children? Henceforth will I remember this secret and it will change my life.

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

And how will I act? I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they be hidden. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built around their hearts and in its place will I build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.

I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me; I will love the failures for they can teach me. I will love the kings for they are but human; I will love the meek for they are divine. I will love the rich for they are yet lonely; I will love the poor for they are so many. I will love the young for the faith they hold; I will love the old for the wisdom they share. I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness; I will love the ugly for their souls of peace.

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

But how will I react to the actions of others? With love. For just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger. Adversity and discouragement will beat against my new shield and become as the softest of rains. My shield will protect me in the market place and sustain me when I am alone. It will uplift me in moments of despair yet it will calm me in time of exultation. It will become stronger and more protective with use until one day I will cast it aside and walk unencumbered among all manners of men and, when I do, my name will be raised high on the pyramid of life.

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way. In silence and to myself I will address him and say I Love You. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkle my brow, bring a smile to my lips and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened. And who is there who will say nay to my goods when his heart feels my love?

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

And most of all I will love myself. For when I do I will zealously inspect all things which enter my body, my mind, my soul, and my heart. Never will I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather I will cherish my body with cleanliness and moderation. Never will I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I will uplift it with the wisdom and knowledge of the ages. Never will I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I will feed it with meditation and prayer. Never will I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I will share it and it will grow and warm the earth.

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

Henceforth will I love all mankind. From this moment all hate is let from my veins for I have not time to hate, only time to love. From this moment I take the first step required to become a man among men. With love I will increase my sales a hundredfold and become a great salesman. If I have no other qualities I can succeed on love alone. Without it I will fail though I possess all the knowledge and skills in the world.

I will greet this day with love in my heart and I will succeed.

- from The Greatest Secret in the World, by Og Mandino, Bantam Books, 6th Printing (1981), pp22-24 
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The Scroll Marked I - (How to Create Good Habits)

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Today I begin a new life.

Today I shed my old skin which hath, too long, suffered the bruises of failure and the wounds of mediocrity.

Today I am born anew and my birthplace is a vineyard where there is fruit for all.

Today I will pluck the grapes of wisdom from the tallest and fullest vines in in the vineyard, for these were planted by the wisest of my profession who have come before me, generation upon generation.

Today I will savor the taste of grapes from these vines and verily I will swallow the seed of success buriend in each and new life will sprout within me.

The career I have chosen is laden with opportunity yet it is fraught with heartbreak and despair and the bodies of those who have failed, were they piled on atop another, would cast its shadow down upon all the pyramids of the earth.

Yet I will not fail, as the others, for in my hands I now hold the charts which will guide me through perilous waters to shores which only yesterday seemed but a dream.

Failure no longer will be my payment for struggle. Just as nature mode no provision for my body to tolerate pain neither has it made any provision for my life to suffer failure. Failure, like pain, is alien to my life. In the past I accepted it as I accepted pain. Now I reject it and I am prepared for wisdom and principles which will guide me out of the shadows into the sunlight of wealth, position and happiness far beyond my most extravagant dreams until even the apples in the Garden of Hesperides will seem no more than my just reward.

Time teaches all things to he who lives forever by I have not the luxury of eternity. Yet, within my allotted time I must practice the art of patience for nature acts never in haste. To create the olive, king of all trees, a hundred years is required. An onion plant is old in nine weeks. I have lived as an onion plant. It has not pleased me. Now I wouldst become the greatest of alive trees and, in truth, the greatest of salesmen.

And how will this be accomplished? For I have neither the knowledge nor the experience to achieve greatness and already I have stumbled in ignorance and fallen into pools of self-pity. The answer is simple. I will commence my journey unencumbered with either the weight of unnecessary knowledge or the handicap of meaningless experience. Nature already has supplied me with knowledge and instinct far greater than any beast in the forest and the value of experience is overrated, usually by old men who nod wisely and speak stupidly.

In truth experience teaches thoroughly yet her course of instruction devours men's years so the value of her lessons diminishes with the time necessary to acquire her special wisdom. The end finds it wasted on dead men. Furthermore, experience is comparable to fashion; an action that proved successful today will be unworkable and impractical tomorrow.  

Only principles endure and these I now possess, for the laws that will lead me to greatness are contained in the words of these scrolls. What they will teach me is more to prevent failure than to gain success, for what is success but a state of mind? Which two, among a thousand wise men, will define success in the same words; yet failure is always described but one way. Failure is a man's inability to reach his goals in life, whatever they may be.

In truth, the only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded  lies in the difference of their habits. Good habits are the key to all success. Bad habits are the unlocked door to failure. Thus, the first law I will obey, which precedeth all others is - I will form good habits and become their slaves.

As a child I was slave to my impulses; now I am slave to my habits, as are all grown men. I have surrendered my free will to the years of accumulated habits and the past deeds of my life have alrady marked out a path which threatens to imprison my future. My actions are ruled by appetite, passion, prejudice, greed, love, fear, environment, habit and the worst of these tyrants is habit. Therefore, if I must be a slave to habit let me be a slave to good habits. My bad habits must be destroyed and new furrows prepared for good seed.

I will form good habits and become their slave.

And how will I accomplish this difficult feat? Through these scrolls, it will be done, for each scroll contains and principle which will drive a bad habit from my life and replace it with one which will bring me closer to success. For it is another of natures laws that only a habit can subdue another habit. So, in order for these written words to perform their chosen task, I must discipline myself with the first of my new habits which is as follows:

I will read each scroll for thirty days in this prescribed manner, before I proceed to the next scroll.

First, I will read the words in silence when I arise. Then, I will read the words in silence after I have partaken of my midday meal. Last, I will read the words again just before I retire at day's end., and most important, on this occasion I will read the words aloud.

On the next day I will repeat this procedure, and I will continue in like manner for thirty days. Then, I will turn to the next scroll and repeat this procedure for another thirty days. I will continue in this manner until I have lived with each scroll for thirty days and my reading has become habit.

And what will be accomplished with this habit? Herein lies the secret of man's accomplishments. As I repeat the words daily they will soon become a part of my active mind, but more important, they will also seep into my other mind, that mysterious source which never sleeps, which creates my dreams, and often makes me act in ways I do not comprehend.

As the words of these scrolls are consumed by my mysterious mind I will begin to awake, each morning, with a vitality I have never known before. My vigor will increase, my enthusiasm will rise, my desire to meet the world will overcome every fear I once knew at sunrise, and I will be happier than I ever believed it possible to be in this world of strife and sorrow.

Eventually I will find myself reacting to all situations which confront me as I was commanded in the scrolls to react, and soon these actions and reactions will become easy to perform, for any act with practice becomes easy.

Thus a new and good habit is born, for when an act becomes easy through constant repetition it becomes a pleasure to perform and if it is a pleasure it is man's nature to perform it often. When I perform it often it becomes a habit and I become its slave and since it is a good habit this is my will.

Today I begin a new life.

And I make a solemn oath to myself that nothing will retard my new life's growth. I will not lose a day from these readings for that day cannot be retrieved nor can I substitute another for it. I must not, I will not, break this habit of daily reading from these scrolls and, in truth, the few moments spent each day on this new habit are but a small price to pay for the happiness and success that will be mine.

As I read and re-read the words in the scrolls to follow, never will I allow the brevity of each scroll nor the simplicity of its words to cause me to treat the scroll's meaning lightly. Thousands of grapes are pressed to fill one jar with wine, and the grapeskin and pulp are tossed to the birds. So it is with these grapes of wisdom from the ages. Much has been filtered and tossed to the wind. Only the pure truth lies distilled in the words to come. I will drink as instructed and spill not a drop. And the seed of success I will swallow.

Today my old skin has become as dust. I will walk tall among men and they will know me not, for today I am a new man, with a new life.

- The Greatest Secret in the World, by Og Mandino, Bantam Books, 6th Printing (1981), pp9-13
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Tuesday, 4 March 2014

The Scroll Marked IX - (Stop Procrastinating)

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My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible.
 
All are of no value unless they are followed by action.

I will act now. 

Never has there been a map, however carefully executed to detail and scale, which carried its owner over even one inch of ground. Never has there been a parchment of law, however fair, which prevented one crime. Never has there been a scroll, even such as the one I hold, which earned so much as a penny or produced a single word of acclamation. Action, alone, is the tinder which ignites the map, the parchment, the scroll, my dreams, my plans, my goals, into living force. Action is the food and drink which will nourish my success.
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I will act now
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My procrastination which has held me back was born of fear and now I recognize the secret mind from the depths of all courageous hearts. Now I know that to conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my heart will vanish. Now I know that action reduces the lion of terror to an ant of equanimity.

I will act now.

Henceforth, I will remember the lesson of the firefly who gives off its light only when it is on the wing, only when it is in action. I will become a firefly and even in the day my glow will be seen in spite of the sun. Let others be as butterflies who preen their wings yet depend on the charity of a flower for life. I will be as a firefly and my light will brighten the world.

I will act now.

I will not avoid the tasks of today and charge them to tomorrow for I know that tomorrow never comes. Let me act now even though my actions may not bring happiness or success for it is better to act and fail than not to act and flounder. Happiness, in truth, may not be the fruit plucked by my action yet without action all fruit will die on the vine.

I will act now. 

I will act now. 

I will act now.

I will act now. 
 
Henceforth, I will repeat these words again and again, each hour, each day, every day, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing and the actions which follow become as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every act necessary for my success. With these words I can condition my mind to meet every challenge which the failure avoids.

I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again. 

When I awake I will say them and leap from my cot while the failure sleeps yet another hour.

I will act now. 

When I enter the market place I will say them and immediately confront my first prospect while the failure ponders yet his possibility of rebuff. 

I will act now. 

When I face a closed door I will say them and knock while the failure waits outside with fear and trepidation. 

I will act now. 

When I face the temptation I will say them and immediately act to remove myself from evil.

I will act now. 

When I am tempted to quit and begin again tomorrow I will say them and immediately act to consummate another sale. 

I will act now. 

Only action determines my value in the market place and to multiply my value I will multiply my actions. I will walk where the failure fears to walk. I will work when the failure seeks rest. I will talk when the failure remains silent. I will call on ten who can buy my goods while the failure makes grand plans to call on me. I will say it is done before the failure says it is too late.

I will act now. 

For now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the evil become good. I am not evil. Tomorrow is the day when the weak become strong. I am not weak. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure.

I will act now. 

When the lion is hungry he eats. When the eagle has thirst he drinks. Lest they act, both will perish.

I hunger for success. I thirst for happiness and peace of mind. Lest I act I will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights. I will command, and I will obey my own command.

I will act now. 

Success will not wait. If I delay she will become betrothed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place. I am the man.

I will act now. 
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